Umber (51.5 — The Statues of the Saints)

“I told her about bilocation, yes.

“I said, ‘Vera, saints can be in lots of places at the same time.  Didn’t you ever wonder how we could talk at St. Agnes’ Church, then you could go home and converse with the little statue of me?  Did you think I just followed you about?  I couldn’t do that, since I needed to be present on a few thousand other pedestals around the world. not to mention on holy cards and in prayer book illustrations.  Thousands of people talk to me every day, but just a few can hear me answer back.’

“‘So,’ she asked, ‘how can you be in so many places at once?’

” ‘Bilocation,’ I told her. ‘Look it up in your Catholic dictionary.  It should be called multilocation, because I can be in a multitude of spots all at once.  And I don’t just stand around looking pious and tortured all the time.  I travel the world, I write, I even go hiking.  Michael and I were at the bottom of the Grand Canyon just the other day.  It’s one of the benefits of sainthood.’ ”

“I offered to teach Vera the secret of bilocation, so she could both remarry and not remarry at the same time, but she said it wouldn’t be right.  When I tried harder to convince her, she got angry and threw a dishtowel at me.”

“Well,” Teresa thoughtfully replied, ” maybe there’s another way to help her.”

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